


Anguish

by shsl_saltine



Category: Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Angst, Character Study, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-21
Updated: 2016-07-21
Packaged: 2018-07-25 19:48:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7545683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shsl_saltine/pseuds/shsl_saltine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Fuyuhiko is left alone with his thoughts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Anguish

**Author's Note:**

> My first character study, which was inspired by the linked post. I'll definitely be doing more of these, hopefully some that aren't as sad!  
> http://shsl-saltine.tumblr.com/post/147711800111/dangirlronpa-babygangstas-dangirlronpa

_ What was this called? _

 

It was the feeling of being close enough to touch her, but blocked by so many barriers that he’d created. The thought that he’d bred the despair that they both were immersed in. The knowledge that he could never make amends, because how do you in this situation? No apology would suffice for the for what he’d put her through, what he’d made her give up.

 

She was a human. No matter what she said, she had feelings and morals. She had boundaries. She was just as fragile as anyone else. But she ignored it all,  _ he _ ignored it all. For what? What could he have ever seen in Junko and her madness? Despair was never worth losing her, but she was gone now.

 

He couldn’t be bothered with hiding his tears, or to wonder whether they fell from his self pity or his guilt. Anyone more rational than he would see it was a healthy mixture of both. He didn’t deserve pity, not even his own, but he cried for himself regardless. He cried for every word he’d uttered to her in his despair, every shove that had pushed her to her edge, every cold look that could’ve been loving gazes. He cried because the weight in his chest wouldn’t leave if he’d done nothing.

 

Another look to her was a grim reminder that he hadn’t deserved her. She would follow him to the ends of the Earth, so she followed him into the pits of despair without hesitation. It was his order, his command; The burden of her fall would forever weigh on his shoulders.

 

She’d lost everything, not to say she had something to begin with. But she gave all she had for him. As a child, she gave her youth and innocence so he could keep his. She gave her ignorance so he could remain blissfully unaware. She’d risked her life time and time again to keep him free from fear. In the end, he encouraged her to give her free will,  _ her humanity _ , just so he wouldn’t be alone. She lost everything for him, and even as a duo he’d turned his back on her. He let her fall. He let her suffer. He betrayed his best friend, his only friend, the only person he could say he’d ever loved, the only person would ever love in the future.

 

She was merciless, by his hand. She acted for him, as his sword and shield. She’d done everything with the cold precision of a robot. A tool. The word echoed in his mind with the thousands of memories where he’d berated her with it, and it made him want to vomit. How could he do this to her? No matter what he said, he knew he wasn’t heartless. She meant the world to him. So how could he rationalize what he’d done? He hoped by saying that he’d become Ultimate Despair, it would somehow vindicate him, but the pit of his stomach still wouldn’t settle.

 

A selfish part of him wanted a miracle. A selfish part of him wanted her to wake with her memories of the of the island, of the good times they shared, of the more honorable version of him. He wanted so much for her to forget the atrocities he’d dragged her into and the hopeless despair of not being a… True human.

 

Fuyuhiko was a selfish man, he’d admit it. But he was even more desperate and… To have her wake up and stay by his side again was more than he could hope for, even if she’d forgotten their game. He would spend the rest of his life reminding her that they were equals; In this future they created together, they didn’t have to be anything other than what they desired. And he would search forever to prove that she still desired to be equals too.

 

“I know it’s… Been a long time, Peko. I’m sorry I never come to visit you… I guess I just- Never mind, I’m not here to cry about my self loathing. I’m not really… Good at this, in fact, coming here brings up more than I like to think about. But then again, I don’t think I ever truly forget it. Dammit, I did it again! That’s not what I’m here for!...

 

“Things on the island are going fine, even for a bunch of fuck-ups like us. It’s different from what you know, I’ll show you around when you wake up. Everyone is really pulling through… It really is a miracle. They are even starting to act like they used to, but it’s hard for all of us. Even with you guys, I think that making our own future would be more difficult than anything we’d felt in the simulation. Destroying the world was a lot easier than rebuilding it, but I think we can manage. We’ve been through both hope and despair… There isn’t much we haven’t seen...

 

“...Peko, we’ve been through hell and back together, hand in hand. You’re stronger than me, or anyone here. I know you, and I know you can wake up… I need you by my side, even if I’m independent, I need you here. As an equal, as a partner, as a friend, as a lover, as just you, as just Peko… I don’t deserve it, I know… But you deserve the best, and I need you to wake up so I can give you that… If you’d just… Just wake up…”

 

_ What did you call this feeling? _

  
_ Oh right, anguish. _


End file.
